I will pray for you

What does that even mean?

I used to hear that quite a bit. The people who said it meant they would pray for me after hearing about all the bad things I had been going through, but what does that really mean?

It is said in good intentions, I suppose.

However, it seemed extremely patronizing.

It was like hearing somebody pour their heart out because in their broken, desperate, worn down, completely helpless shoes you seemed trustworthy and caring enough to ask them what was wrong.
Then you turn around and say:

I hear your words, but I am not really listening.
I have only generic words of comfort that I memorized for you, and your problems go beyond my word bank of empty answers so I will make up something and put a bandaid over a gushing wound.
Let me tell my personal jesus to make your world less fucked up so that I may be free from the same worry that has you so broken.
I will pray for you.




....









Why can't people just be honest?

I know you don't have an answer for me. You're not the guru on top of the mountain. That's not what I wanted.
All it would have taken was for you to take my hand and be honest with me and with yourself.
You're sorry I am going through what I am going through. You don't have the answers. You don't know why life has decided to fuck me over at this point, but you hope things will get better. In the meantime you'll just sit with me in the silence, without judgment, so I won't feel horribly isolated.

Suffering is one of the things that unites all people, no matter who they are, what they do for a living, what language they speak, their religion, race, socioeconomic status...
When we hurt, we hurt.
Human beings grieve when they experience loss.
Just the fact that it hurts and that everyone have or will hurt is comforting because it means we are really all one.
It is the honest truth.

So why do so many people try to give a generic answer to try to fix things?

Even if it is done with good intentions it still makes things a little worse.

All it really takes is for you to say: I'm here for you.

And mean it.