head shrinking

i'm nervous about tomorrow.

it'll be my first assessment at the counseling center and the first time i've seen someone in a few years.


i have no idea what to say.

before i would have just gone through a laundry list of what was to be expected and how i should respond, but now i can't even do that.
i don't want to do that.
i actually just want to be honest with myself for once and talk to somebody about all the weird shit that goes on in my mind, which is terrifying because i have no idea what i'd actually say if asked a question on any given subject.

i can't sleep.

i took my nice cough syrup to a. help with the coughing, and b. help with the insomnia.

still sitting around waiting for it to kick in.




btw, expectorant- latin. ex, to reject; pect-the chest.
it's supposed to make my coughs "more productive", meaning i'd cough up all the gross crap in larger amounts.


i should've taken a benedryl to make me fall asleep.

fml.