My summary of God at this point

God:
1. fickle, in the way that he seems to be a friend one moment and a tormentor the next
2. a sadistic bastard (very similar to my a-hole father, may he rest in peace) who likes to get my hopes up only to dash them in the most absurd ways last minute
3. absentee parental figure
4. totally unreliable jerk, who:
5. makes my life into a cosmic joke
6. is silent to my prayers or not answering in a way that my puny mind can grasp
7. constantly fucks me over, or allows others to fuck me over




in short, i can no longer place my trust, hope, or faith in this individual.

i have tried too hard for too long just to get some sort of answer, maybe gain some sort of understanding with no fruition. i have tried to be a decent person.
my basic prayer of "please make my life not so worthless today" has been ignored for a very long time, no matter how i try to approach the issue.

God is no longer welcome here til i get some sort of response. i demand it.

i need something a little more concrete here, bc right now i am talking to some entity that no one can see or hear. people get locked away in the nuthouse for that type of thing and i am starting to wonder if i belong there as well.

if that is sacrilegious then so be it.

that is how i genuinely feel, and if God has a problem with it then he can go ahead and do something about it.


*flicks off the universe/powers that be*