funny creepy sad

i've been doing lots of random reading for some of my psych classes and it strikes me as really strange and funny how screwed up i was as a kid.

there was that time we were staying with my uncle & grandparents in saigon. it was a huge apartment on like the 4th floor with lots of people, a large dog, and several cats. so one time i remember playing too rough with a dark furred kitty and he scratched me. out of complete rage i grabbed him by the tail, took this random blunt object, and smacked the hell out of him. i didnt really understand the concept of life and death, except that he was alive the moment he scratched me and then not so alive shortly thereafter.[how come nobody punished me for acting like such a little savage anyway??? all the adults were there when it happened].
then there were all those times i tried to set things on fire in VN and in the states. i finally stopped doing that around age 14 because i started amusing myself with drugs instead.
i also remember the elementary school i first attended in PA, with huge fields that had to be maintained using a huge lawn mower. i was standing in the way of the driver during recess and just waiting to see if he'd run me over, just out of curiosity. then one of the kindergarten teachers noticed and rushed to grab my hand and get me out of the way, when all i could think of was maybe if SHE got run over by one of those things it would be really interesting to watch.
in addition to all that i had horrible rage as a kid. i seriously flipped out and put some serious whoopass on my cousins when we were all little (even though some of them were older and larger than me) whenever they pissed me off. i also screamed, yelled, and threw things at adults who told me no or ignored me, with every intention of hitting them in the face & head.

all in all, that was a seriously messed up child who grew up to be an equally messed up (although somewhat contained) adult.

fuckin' weird.