I have this problem.
It will probably never be fully resolved, hard as I try. And believe me, I've tried. I'm still trying.
Every single day is a struggle.
I try so hard to push out all the negative thoughts, the horrible feeling of someone sitting on my chest & pushing out every breath I have, the feeling of vomiting burning poison from my insides. I have to remind myself hundreds of times a day that everything will be okay and that I am okay, but I only partly believe myself. I've never been able to fully believe that I am a decent person. It feels like I'll always be this damaged, broken thing made up of countless individual failures that will always define who I am and it will never be any different. No matter how hard I try I always see that person in the mirror while everybody else sees someone who has it together. They see someone who is confidant & social. They see someone who cracks silly jokes & has no qualms about working hard to get things done. They see this persona I've built up for as long as I can remember and they will all leave in disgust the day they discover that I am a fraud.
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